Sometimes it seems like I only blog when I find something that I truly need to vent about. But I guess that makes sense because, well, why blog about something I'm not passionate about? This is my outlet to just spit it out and vent right? Yeah I'll go with that.
So like I said, I'm angry! One of my very best friends has been my best friend for 6 stinking years! SIX!! Now he has "officially" told me that he's done being friends. I mean, if you consider Facebook an official way of ending a friendship like that, sure. It's an official way of starting a relationship these days right? Why not ending one? Anyway! His reason? He's getting married! And she is the only female that can have any sort of friendship role in his life. Disclaimer: I respect his decision and I wish them well and you all should give them a big "Congratulations." And maybe this should be in a journal rather than a blog. But, I get to vent here.
So the issue here is this: "Besides their significant other, people should not be good friends with members of the opposite sex."
Just think about that for a second. .... WHAT?! That makes zero sense, people! You just knocked out 50% of the world! It might be the fact that I go to a school that is 80% male so maybe I just expect people to understand that I am always going to have friends that are guys, regardless of what my significant other thinks. But honestly, no. This doesn't make sense anywhere! Not here, not in Utah, not anywhere in America at least!
So just because I've got boobs means you can't be friends with me? Just because he's got a Y chromosome means she can't be friends with him? Alright alright so I know what the counter argument is there. "It's not only because of their bodies and chromosomes, Megan. It's because there is a possibility of one person being attracted to the other, and that would be inappropriate. No one wants to risk losing the person that they've fallen so madly in love with." I get that. Okay, but if you have fallen so far in love with this person, doesn't it make sense that your relationship could be based on something a little stronger? Maybe something like trust?
"Megan, I trust my significant other, but I just want to respect them! I can't have friends that are girls/guys! That would just be rude!" .... My friend, listen to yourself. Don't you think it's rude to drop so many of your friends? Are you really willing to lose a best friend? Yes? Well you've just defined right there what value you give to your friends.
Am I just a little too passionate about the importance of friendships? I love my friends and I could never give them up.
"Megan, one day when you are big like me, you'll get married. I think you'll understand more then." Ha... umm.. okay wait. You know what? No. No rebuttal for that one. You got me there!
Honestly, it all boils down to one awful emotion: jealousy.
You don't want friends of the opposite gender because you are worried that your significant other will get jealous and then leave. You rationalize that silly thought because you admit that you would be jealous of any opposite-sex friends that he/she might have and you don't want them to have an excuse to have those friends. And yes, it even comes in with me. I am jealous. Any time a friend drops me for their significant other, I hate it. I let it happen and I do my best not to put up a fight because, quite honestly, it really is their choice. But boy, I hate it so much. I am jealous of the fact that guys can be friends with them, but I can't! I absolutely hate it.
Okay so maybe I should mention the difference between when someone is dating versus when they are actually getting married. I have had plenty of guy friends drift away or straight up tell me that they cannot be friends with me because of their girlfriend. I always go through the regular routine: Get mad, continue trying to keep the friendship alive, give up, move on but kind of always wish that we could still be friends. Then one day, they break up. And all of a sudden!!! I get a text or a Facebook message or sometimes they even talk to me in person. And every time, I debate renewing the friendship because, of course, they are going to start dating again and what's going to stop them from letting go of the friendship once again? Well I'll tell you this much, their girlfriend isn't going to stop them that's for sure.
Every once in a while, though, love finds a fairytale (cue pixie dust), and two people decide to get married. What then? Our friendship is never going to come back, and that, my friends, is the tragedy. It's the unhappy ending beneath the new beginning. It's the bitter taste in the happily ever after. It's the green-eyed monster hiding in all of our closets.
