Why Do We Stay?

"The truth is, only you know why you stay here, why you put up with this place. Or maybe you don't know. I didn't know why I came [here] until a little while ago. But standing here today, right now, I can tell you why I love it. I love it because it's a [place] people come to because they want to become something more than what they are. I used to .. imagine this great person I might one day become. And what I'm saying is, maybe that's the thing. Maybe that's why. We come here, to Gotham, because it's transformative, this place. We come here with our dreams and the city, it looks at us with its unblinking stone eye- an eye that sees all our faults, everything we're afraid is true about ourselves- and it says: 'try. I dare you.' And then Gotham stares you down, doesn't it? .. It fights you, challenges you to give up, to leave... But you don't. No. Because deep down you know- you know- that if you stand up to the challenge, if you walk through the fire, you will emerge changed. Burned down to that self you knew was there all along, the one you came here to be." - Bruce Wayne in Batman: Zero Year #24

The Green-Eyed Monster

Sometimes it seems like I only blog when I find something that I truly need to vent about. But I guess that makes sense because, well, why blog about something I'm not passionate about? This is my outlet to just spit it out and vent right? Yeah I'll go with that.

So like I said, I'm angry! One of my very best friends has been my best friend for 6 stinking years! SIX!! Now he has "officially" told me that he's done being friends. I mean, if you consider Facebook an official way of ending a friendship like that, sure. It's an official way of starting a relationship these days right? Why not ending one? Anyway! His reason? He's getting married! And she is the only female that can have any sort of friendship role in his life. Disclaimer: I respect his decision and I wish them well and you all should give them a big "Congratulations." And maybe this should be in a journal rather than a blog. But, I get to vent here.

So the issue here is this: "Besides their significant other, people should not be good friends with members of the opposite sex."

Just think about that for a second. .... WHAT?! That makes zero sense, people! You just knocked out 50% of the world! It might be the fact that I go to a school that is 80% male so maybe I just expect people to understand that I am always going to have friends that are guys, regardless of what my significant other thinks. But honestly, no. This doesn't make sense anywhere! Not here, not in Utah, not anywhere in America at least!

So just because I've got boobs means you can't be friends with me? Just because he's got a Y chromosome means she can't be friends with him? Alright alright so I know what the counter argument is there. "It's not only because of their bodies and chromosomes, Megan. It's because there is a possibility of one person being attracted to the other, and that would be inappropriate. No one wants to risk losing the person that they've fallen so madly in love with." I get that. Okay, but if you have fallen so far in love with this person, doesn't it make sense that your relationship could be based on something a little stronger? Maybe something like trust?

"Megan, I trust my significant other, but I just want to respect them! I can't have friends that are girls/guys! That would just be rude!" .... My friend, listen to yourself. Don't you think it's rude to drop so many of your friends? Are you really willing to lose a best friend? Yes? Well you've just defined right there what value you give to your friends.

Am I just a little too passionate about the importance of friendships? I love my friends and I could never give them up.

"Megan, one day when you are big like me, you'll get married. I think you'll understand more then." Ha... umm.. okay wait. You know what? No. No rebuttal for that one. You got me there!

Honestly, it all boils down to one awful emotion: jealousy.

You don't want friends of the opposite gender because you are worried that your significant other will get jealous and then leave. You rationalize that silly thought because you admit that you would be jealous of any opposite-sex friends that he/she might have and you don't want them to have an excuse to have those friends. And yes, it even comes in with me. I am jealous. Any time a friend drops me for their significant other, I hate it. I let it happen and I do my best not to put up a fight because, quite honestly, it really is their choice. But boy, I hate it so much. I am jealous of the fact that guys can be friends with them, but I can't! I absolutely hate it.

Okay so maybe I should mention the difference between when someone is dating versus when they are actually getting married. I have had plenty of guy friends drift away or straight up tell me that they cannot be friends with me because of their girlfriend. I always go through the regular routine: Get mad, continue trying to keep the friendship alive, give up, move on but kind of always wish that we could still be friends. Then one day, they break up. And all of a sudden!!! I get a text or a Facebook message or sometimes they even talk to me in person. And every time, I debate renewing the friendship because, of course, they are going to start dating again and what's going to stop them from letting go of the friendship once again? Well I'll tell you this much, their girlfriend isn't going to stop them that's for sure.

Every once in a while, though, love finds a fairytale (cue pixie dust), and two people decide to get married. What then? Our friendship is never going to come back, and that, my friends, is the tragedy. It's the unhappy ending beneath the new beginning. It's the bitter taste in the happily ever after. It's the green-eyed monster hiding in all of our closets.

How I Lost My Voice

So I lost my voice on Friday night and this is the story of how it happened. Someone told me to write it down so I can remember the fun memories, but I figured I'd record it so you can hear my voice. This is more for me to remember the story later, but if you're interested here you go.

B e a u t i f u l W o m e n

Before you read this, open a new tab or a new window or whatever you prefer and search the phrase "beautiful women" in Google Images.

Did you do it? No? Well go do it. Yes? Good.

Okay so lately on Facebook I've been seeing more and more posts of these super inspiring videos with regular people trying to redefine beauty through social media. Here are a couple of examples:

A New Look on Selfies

World's "Ugliest" Woman

After seeing so many of these amazing posts, I couldn't help but join the fight.

Remember that Google search I had you do a few minutes ago? Well why on earth were all of the woman practically naked? Some of them completely nude, some of them fully clothed (kind of) but pulling some sexy pose with their butt sticking out, their back arched, or their lips all kissy-faced. Is that really beautiful? And before you say, "Ha, yes Megan it is," let me ask you this: Are the girls you find beautiful really the ones you see online that you can picture yourself having sex with? The ones you've never spoken to, never learned anything about, you don't even know their name or what they like to do or what they find intriguing or what their most embarrassing moment is? You've never seen their eyes sparkle when they tell you about something they are passionate about, and you've never had the beautiful realization that they trust you enough to tell you something so important to them? These women. The ones you searched a few minutes ago. All you know about them is boobs, butt, clear skin, straight teeth, and nice hair. And you're telling me that is beautiful? Sexy maybe. But to throw the word beautiful at them like all it takes is stripping my clothes off and a pose with my legs apart and my back arched so my boobs are more perky? That's beautiful? No I refuse to accept that, and guess what. These days, we have social media for people to speak out. The world is no longer magazines and Victoria Secret fashion shows. Everyone gets a say now. Everyone has a chance to tell the world what beautiful is. And you know what? I think we can beat the magazines, MTV, and underwear models.

Here are a few examples of people that I think are simply beautiful.

This is my best friend Summer Danielle Seibold.

She loves wolves and all animals for that matter. Her dream is to become a vet, and let me tell you. I've seen the sparkle in her eyes when she tells me about this dream of hers and it is beautiful.

Summer is a hard worker. For as long as I've known her she's been working working working. We worked at a cub scout camp together in middle school. The next year she found a job working for the forest service. She worked for a while as a janitor and when that didn't work out, she found this amazing job at Starbucks.

Summer loves Vampire Diaries and Supernatural and random movies like Thumbelina. She likes to blast her music in the car so loud you think your ears are going to pop. She dances like a maniac and just makes you want to join her in her crazy dancing but you can't join her because her dancing is so beautifully crazy that you just can't look away.

This is my oldest (as in friends the longest, she's not actually that old) friend Sierra Lee Clark.

I've known Sierra for as long as I can remember almost. I have a picture with her in the bath tub. Both of us were tiny little kids and completely naked without a care in the world. There's another picture I have of me and Sierra sitting in her driveway drawing with chalk, also without a care in the world.

As kids, we used to play in Sierra's basement and I'm pretty sure one time we were convinced something .. or someone... had moved a knife that was down there. We were pretty creeped out and yup, it was official. We were gonna' die. I've seen Sierra grow into this beautiful young woman. I've seen her grow from a child's curiosity glistening in her eyes to determination. I've seen her fall in love, and it's beautiful. She is beautiful.

This is my mom. Denise Charlene Christensen.

There is far too much to say about how beautiful my mother is, but I'll do my best. My mom has been through so much in her life. I'm not going to share her trials and her struggles because it's not my place to share, but I'm going to tell you that I've seen her cry tears of despair, and I've also seen her cry tears of joy. You should see the way my mom lights up when her kids do something to make her proud.

That's a picture of my mom and brother picking me up for my first break home plebe year. Just LOOK at that smile! Beautiful, isn't it?

My mom's crazy, but in a crazy beautiful way. I love her so much and I regret not showing my appreciation to her in a beautiful way like she shows her appreciation for others. Every time I visit home, she's spending time in the kitchen cooking up some new treat and then bagging those treats to take around to all of her new friends and old friends and some people who aren't actually her friend but just need a pickmeup. Look at that face up there. Beautiful right? Crazy beautiful.

Although it was a struggle, a long bumpy road with many arguments and trials and just plain exhausting nights, my mom got me to where I am today. We never had any money for me to go to college, but she insisted that I could find a way. She fully believed that I would find a way to get my college education payed for, and guess what. *whispers* I got a full ride scholarship.. Shhh! * I go to this amazing school called the US Naval Academy and I absolutely love it. I was pretty distraught when my mom kept pushing that I needed scholarships because we didn't have any other way to pay for it, but look at me now! Big bad 2/C Midshipman. Come at me bro. And it's all thanks to you mom. You're beautiful way of making sure I achieved my dream. It's beautiful. You're beautiful.

This is a friend I met at the academy. Dana Petersen.

Beautiful. And you know why she's beautiful? She has one of the strongest minds I know. She knows what she believes. She knows where she's going and she knows what's right and she's not afraid to tell you. Dana loves history, she's a beast at using an elliptical, and she's beautiful.

This is a friend from church. Stephany Andrews.

I could go on and on about Stephany. Stephany is beautifully kind. Stephany makes treats all the time for the young single adults in church. She's a nanny and today she showed me some beautiful videos of these kids playing in the snow, dancing to music, and just being beautiful. Stephany sees the beauty in others. She has this contagious laugh that just makes you feel all warm inside. She's beautiful. (Psst. It's also her birthday today).

These are my sisters:

Shylo loves to cook and she gets the biggest smile when she feeds you a meal that you enjoy.

Ashley loves to sing and her passion radiates from her face as she does it.

Cindy loves the 49ers and Disneyland. She can never have enough Disney and now she has a beautiful daughter, Gwen, to share these passions with. Gwen is beautifully beautiful and there's not much more to say. She pulls at your heart strings beautifully and she's not afraid to tell you that Donatello is the best ninja turtle.

Tricia and Sheila love their children beautifully as well. They are my beautiful sisters.

So what does beautiful mean to you? Do you agree with Google Images and Victoria's Secret? Don't get me wrong. It's possible to be both sexy and beautiful but if all I've got is a picture of you in your underwear, I can't call you beautiful until I see you living a beautiful life.

So all you females reading this post. I beg you, look in the mirror, forget the bags under your eyes, forget the graying hairs, forget the pimples, forget what the world has taught you. Those bags under your eyes might mean that you have stayed up nurturing a young baby, giving it life. Beautiful. Those graying hairs mean you have lived long enough to get grey hair! You have a story to tell woman, so go tell it. Beautiful. Those pimples mean your human. That's it. Beautiful. The world no longer has the power to tell you that you're arms are too hairy or your butt is too pasty white or your feet are too long. My arms are hairy, my butt is pretty pasty since it never sees the sun, and my feet are long and bony, but guess what. I play the bagpipes, the flute, and the piano beautifully. My eyes are beautifully blue. I'm pretty darn good at mathematics. Sometimes I laugh so uncontrollably hard that I sound like an evil person. I love blasting Disney, Taylor Swift, and Les Misérables and I don't care who hears me singing along. I am beautiful.

So here's my challenge to you, people of the internet, find three women in your life who are simply beautiful and go tell them why you find them beautiful.